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| update coming soon- I promise.
A lot on my mind...
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| eh, I'll do it later.
But since I'm already here, I always notice that I get 6 or 7 footprints everyday. Who bothers checking my Xanga everyday, especially since I haven't updated in two months?
bleh I'm tired.
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| Since the start of this year, I've always kinda dreaded the end of this school year--time to say goodbye to everyone, and watch as some of my best friends go off in separate directions. ...but I guess recently, in light of all of the college letters that people have gotten, it's really hit home that I won't be seeing these people in a long time. It really makes me sad--having to rebuild all of the friendships, start anew, and basically grow away from my old friends because (not to sound like a pessimist, but it's the reality when people go off to college after several years...).
Mina always says that I'm a clingy guy, and I don't disagree one bit. But (pooey) I guess I'm clingy when it comes to friends as well... just recently, I've been more than anxious to get out of high school and start on a new clean slate in college--know new people, build new friendships, and meet new girls (...*ahem right.) But I guess over the long solitude of Spring Break, I've been missing everyone even more, and there are so many things that I just want to make clear and get right before the year's over.
Why did some things turn out the way they did?
...maybe our school district deliberately scheduled Spring Break around this time, after everyone finds out about colleges so we can all realize how much we all miss each other...
ha right who am I kidding.
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| Hi aznsubtlety! It's been 1337 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga...
Things just haven't been working out the way I wanted them to recently. Well I guess I shouldn't say "working out", as that immediately implies that my actions were meant to "work for" or "work towards" a certain goal, having some sort of a hidden agenda or motive. But then again, it doesn't really matter if others perceive it falsely so, right?
I'm sick of dealing with these feelings--and the fault is mine.
for not being able to move on
for not being able to forget
for not being able to look at the future, not the past
for not being able to be realistic
for not being able to accept what you have
and, well, to put it frankly, for not being able to shut the fuck up.
I don't have a relationship. I don't want a relationship. I don't need a relationship. Why the hell would I care?
edit- btw 300 was a pretty sweet movie. there's just something with miller's graphic novels-turn-movie and his use of colors that is so awesome.
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| so I decided to take some time off today and watch "Sin City"
I've never read Miller's graphic novels but I thought the movie had some interesting themes--the color use in the movie was pretty cool as well.
Ok I'm going to stop being a pseudo-intellectual lol
...oh and Jessica Alba's hot. There--just to counterbalance the totally "un-cool" statements above.
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